crash...almost

It's a beautiful day in Vancouver today. People are dressed in summer gear, biking, walking, having a latte on the patio of Starbucks...and even sun tanning.

Dear guy sun tanning:
I had the unfortunate opportunity to look towards a very bright light (or something) on the ground while I was driving. Because my eye was naturally curious, I glanced in your direction. I saw the your pasty white body from the road and almost hit the curb. FYI, your body type should refrain from Speedo's as these are meant for men with nicer bodies. If you must lay your body down on your lawn, please shimmy to the side - behind the trees, so drivers passing by won't be distracted.
Thanks.